:: neem_actuary's nest ::

Family Reunion??Family Day??Family Gathering??

2003-11-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

Which from those three you prefer it depends on yourself. The fact is they give the same meaning (in my opinion) for it is an event where family members get together in any special function such as Hari Raya (woohoo coming soon :p ) on just on any purposes...erk...
My family having this kinda thing every single year...since Allahyarham & Allahyarhamah of my grandparents still alive. On Hari Raya, it a must for all of us 'balik kampung'..All the family members of my father will get together and we'll have a small function...makan-makan...doa selamat...then borak-borak.
This year, the second year where all of us won't be 'balik kampung' **sob** so, instead of the tradition 'balik kampung' we 'balik KL'...hehe...
This year i and all my 'single' cousins with help of our Pak Su planned a 2 days and 1 night stay..sort of family campfire (erk..is it??hehe)
Hope we'll enjoy ourself!!yea...

Percayakah anda dengan perkara sebegini?

2003-09-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

Anda mengetahui yg anda merindui seseorang apabila jantung anda berdegup pantas ketika teringatkan dia. Dan walaupun sekadar "Hai" daripada dia mencukupi sebagai penenang.
Ulasan: anda mungkin menaruh hati kepadanya, cuma anda tidak menyedarinya ataupun anda tidak mahu menerimanya sebagai kenyataan.

Jangan melarikan diri dari 'cinta' apabila ia berada di hadapan kamu, Jangan melarikan diri daripadanya kerana suatu hari nanti, kamu pasti akan teringatkannya kembali dan menyesali perbuatan kamu itu.
Ulasan: hargai orang yang menyayangi kamu, bukan mudah untuk mencari orang yang menyayangi kita. yang paling berharga ialah hati yang ikhlas.

Penyesalan terbesar dalam hidup ialah risiko yang kita tidak ambil. Jika anda merasakan sesuatu itu akan membuatkan anda bahagia, maka teruskan. Ingatlah bahawa kita akan melalui semua ini hanya sekali, mungkin tiada lagi peluang kedua.
Ulasan: Masa tidak menunggu kita. Jika anda rasakan anda telah bertemu dengan orang yg sesuai, maka hargailah dia, jangan biarkan dia berlalu begitu sahaja.

Lawaknya bila kita meletakkan standard untuk orang yg bakal kita sayangi, tetapi jauh di sudut hati, kita tahu yang orang yg kita sayangi itu terkecuali daripada standard itu. (don't be too choosy!)
Ulasan: kita amat kritikal terutamanya kepada orang yg kita sukai atau sayangi kerana kita mahukan yang terbaik untuk diri kita. Tetapi sebenarnya kesempurnaan dan hubungan terbaik dapat dicapai dengan berusaha bersama. Ia bukanlah terletak kepada satu individu sahaja.

Ruang kosong di antara celah-celah jari kita dicipta untuk dipenuhi oleh jari-jari orang lain.
Ulasan: Bukalah pintu hati anda, benarkan orang yang anda sayangi masuk, jangan ragui tujuan mereka kerana keikhlasan itu dapat dirasai dalam hati.

To all my dear friends....

2003-09-13T00:18:00.000+08:00

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND LIKE
In front of the person you love your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you like you get happy

In front of the person you love winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like winter is just beautiful winter

If you look into the eyes of the one you love you blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like you smile

In front of the person you love you can't say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like you can

In front of the person you love you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like you can show your own self

When the one you love is crying you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying you end up comforting

The feeling of love starts from the eye
And the feeling of like starts from the ear

So if you stop liking a person you used to like
All you need to do is cover your ears, but if you try to close your eyes
Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart foreverafter

Song??

2003-09-12T19:28:00.000+08:00

Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One

If you’re not the one
then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one
then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I
have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don’t want to run away but
I can’t take it,
I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you
then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you
then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you
then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me
then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me
then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don’t want to run away
but I can’t take it,
I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you
then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
‘Cause I miss you,
body and soul so strong
that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray
for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it,
I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

my expression through song...

wondering....

2003-09-11T19:17:00.000+08:00

Found this somewhere from forward email;

Does your name begin with: H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything you seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with a passion for life.

Aku plan this week nak balik kampung. Tapi sebab kerja-kerja penyelenggaraan tandas umah jiran aku belum selesai terpaksa la aku tolong makcik goreng pisang bawak keta dia pegi angkut sampah kat Plaza Alam Sentral.
Eh! Menda la aku merapu nih. Titos sungguh la..
Tak la, aku sekarang dalam critical point dimana aku sedang bergelut dengan assisgnment yang berlambak-lambak minta di submit. As usual, i'm MISS LAST MINUTE...ape lagi buat last minute la..Tapi aku tau hasil aku biasanya Superb!! Nape tak pecaya ke?? Terpulang la nak pecaya ke idak...
Malam ni aku ajar tuition (is this the right spelling?? ah, tibai je la..jangan saman aku dah la) bebudak datang pukul 8. Penat gak ajar budak-budak kecik ni. Especially yang takde basic membaca dan mengira. Tapi takpe, at least ni preparation untuk anak aku nanti..hehehe..ape ni?? Aku nak kawin?? Merepek...Calon pun takde...huhuhu (gelak cik poad)
Ajar tuition ni best tau. Asyik sangat tengok gelagat diorang. Terkulat-kulat bila aku soal sifir. Terbeliak-beliak mata bile aku marah. Terpisat-pisat bila aku denda. HAHAHAHA... Cikgu Neem ni garang sungguh la...
Ape boleh buat, aku rasa it's better that way. Aku rasa bukan garang, tegas! (ye ke ek??)
Satu je, sebenarnya the best teacher is the parents. Kenapa?? Sebenarnya, anak banyak belajar apa yang their parents buat dan juga kalau dalam rumah tu ada orang lain eg. nenek or datuk dia, memang ade certain attitude yang budak tu akan follow. Dan yang paling senang nak ajar anak ialah dari dalam kandungan lagi. It's proven la.. Betul..
Cam expert lak aku ni cakap. Bukan ape, cuma satu la..mak bapak ni tak boleh nak depend dengan cikgu semata-mata, diorang pun kena juga view anak diorang. Dan jangan salahkan cikgu if anak tu tak berjaya.
Barulah aku tau kenapa mak dengan abah ni direspect sangat oleh their students, ye la bila their students excell yang dapat nama cikgu jugak...hmm..camtu la lebih kurang kot....
Sebab bukan senang nak mengajar anak orang, dan bukan senang nak jadi CIKGU!!!
Susah ooo...percaya la....

Mak pesan : Akak, jangan la jadi cikgu. Penat tau. Jadi lecturer takpe :p
Akak : Insya'Allah mak...Doakan akak...

"In your house i long to be..room by room patiently..i wait for u there like a stone..i wait for u there alone..alone.."

2003-09-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

"A Thousand Miles"

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

Love???

2003-09-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

I Want Love - Elton John

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

Yesterday I've met with trigon_e or his name is marfazli azrul (nice name) my another yahoo chat friend. He came with his friend Mukeh (hmm his name sound familiar)...

My Beloved Kinred

2003-09-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

First and for all....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED FRIEND...MY SISTA...MY KINDRED....
After my birthday last month i started planning for dod's birthday. But i'm not really planning actually coz i'm the Miss Last Minute type :p
But then still everything goes smoothly as what i've been planning la...lebih kurang aa..tapi banyak yang kureng kot..huhuhu...

It begins like this..
Dod's birthday is on Monday so,after few discussion..i decided to held the surprised party on Sunday..it might be perfect for her because it's holiday and all the guests that i've invited may come. So, few days before Sunday i've started calling all her's and my friends...Sebab tak nak susahkan anyone...i'm willing doing everything myself...i've catered food from akak goreng pisang dengan reasonable price, tapi ingatkan tak nak susahkan sesape but i admit that i need their help. Yang really syok, that Sunday morning Aunty Irene invited both of us coz she wanted to give us some treat regarding our birthday (mine is belated already la..) but then i refused and to go and there dod went to klcc all by herself.hehe..she doesn't know that i'm prepareing for her b'day party..kui..kui..kui..
As being planned, the surprise will go this way...my housemate Sue (another friend named sue *sigh*) will asked dod for a dinner treat..ye arr..nak belanja b'day girl. Then we'll go to the 'place' as in that place is where all of us gonna have our dinner. But then dod haven't come home until 4 pm (for she's been out since early morning)..then i and Kak Ida (my another housemate) planned to give her a call..tipu2 la kata i'm sick because for the whole week i've got a bad gastric. Then luckily she called by 5pm..hehe..asking me whether i want ROTI BOY or not..fuhh..lega...
Dod came home at 6pm and the plan goes on smoothly...Sadly there's few 'kekurangan' by my mistake...the party was adjourned quite late to 9pm..Everything goes smoothly.and of course dod didn't notice anything until Aunty Irene made a call while we're on the way there and with Ery called me asking for direction to the place.....pergh..she smelled something's going on but hehe...she'd surprised also la....Especially with Ery existance....
ermm..actually this party should be more merrier with many guests but sadly most of them can't attend..nev mind..next time will be further more exciting for u dear....
azren..kimi...mak ayah doa..jiji,kak mai..ina..and aunty irene...sadly they couldn't come..if not it will be my biggest b'day present for u dear...

Then..back at our house...when the clock strike 12..8 September 2003..all of us splat her with the b'day cakes (she got two cakes!!) but then... sume orang pun berlumuran dengan cake...abis sume kena...best!takpe b'day girl punya pasal...ops...lupe....masa party..acara baling telur tetap berjalan..dan teruk dod kena ngan Huzaimi...
Those who present : B'day Girl Dodah (of course la), Sue, Kak Ida, Amp, Fara, Haniz, Elin, Sue (another sue but aka Penyu), Naem, Ana, Hazri, Zul, Daud, Huzaimi, one guy that i didn't remember his name, Acu poad n Ery.

Childhood Memories

2003-09-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

"i miss my chilhood
masa kecik2 dulu best
suka mandi sungai
pastu gi bendang
tangkap ikan laga
syok nye
pastu lastik burung
time kecik2 mana tau apa2
pastu panjat bukit
cari biji laga
buah getah
kena kejar ngan anjing
haha
kalau dah letih, naik beskal gi pantai
ngendap mat saleh mandi pakai bikini
best oo
lepak tepi pantai sambli makan tebu
miss those things"

"syok nye
anim tak rasa tu sume
cuma main parit ade aaa"

Korang ingat tak time kecik-kecik? Best kan? Aku sembang dengan one of my friends kat ym. Dia bercerita pasal kisah dia masa kecik. Bila aku dengar semua tu aku rasa dia beruntung sangat. Dapat rasa suasana begitu. Bagi aku budak-budak sekarang amat rugi. Even diri aku sendiri sebab tak dapat mengecap suasana kampung tu. Aku tak kagum pada mereka yang zaman kecilnya asyik dengan mainan terkini, video games, melancong ke Disneyland... bagi aku semua tu aku tak heran (walaupun aku tak penah rasa camtu).

Aku tinggal kat kawasan perumahan sejak kecil lagi. Rumah teres setingkat, depan rumah ada satu parit besar (longkang aa..leh aa time banjir berenang dalam tu sebab abang aku penah berenang dalam tu). Mak abah aku kerja, jadi masa aku kecik jiran aku jaga, orang Melayu keturunan Pakistan. Hari-hari aku makan roti canai dan sewaktu dengannya (tu sebab suka makan segala jenis roti!!). Rakan sepermainan aku Finas (dah kawin dah), Babu, Kema, Izah, Datul dan adik aku. Petang-petang aktiviti paling best cycling..pastu kena kejar ngan anjing huhuhu...Tak pun main buaian, pegi playground ke, main badminton dan macam-macam lagi la. Yang paling best kan kami suka cari buah letup-letup. Dia kecik je, panjang warna hitam tu dah masak aa kira..bile kita baling dalam air buah tu meletup. Selalu compete sapa dapat paling banyak. Syok tul...tu cerita aku kat kawasan perumahan.

Aku ni banyak rumah, ye la mak abah keja jadi aku ngan adik aku (still kecik) tinggal umah orang la. Abang aku masa tu dah sekolah rendah. Aku start tinggal umah orang masa sekolah tadika lagi, duduk umah Mak Yah (adik abah) pastu tadika Islam kat situ. Dok situ pun sebab dekat dengan tempat mak keja, senang dia on the way je terus anta aku. Masa tu ganasnya aku tak ingat la...Suka sangat usik Adha (mana dia sekarang) ambik barang dia la...Ye la dia tu perasan hensem, aku dengan komplot aku time tu Adry punyalah nakal, balik sekolah saja je jalan tepi longkang, panjat tembok la, ish..ish..tak sedar diri tu budak pompuan. Tapi best betul member dengan Adry ni, aku suka gi umah dia sebab dia ada banyak mainan. Aku lak suka mainan budak lelaki!!! Maybe la sebab aku sorang je pompuan...Pengaruh abang ngan adik kuat sangat kot :p sampai bila time mak nak ambik je sure aku malas je nak balik.

Pastu bila aku sekolah rendah aku duduk ngan Mak Nyah lak. Aku sekolah kat SRK Convent (sekolah pompuan oii...) Aku jumpa lak ngan komplot lagi sorang ni; Kamil. Dia ade adik aku panggil Kak Ngah, pastu ade membe kembar kami Win dengan Nin. Tu la membe aku time kat sana (plus adik aku gak la ) masa tu umah Mak Nyah ni kawasan kampung la..tu yang best tu, main dalam kampung, ambik rambutan, tapi tak banyak aktiviti sangat la sebab Mak Nyah ni garang la..

Lepas tu masa darjah 4 aku duduk kat umah makcik ni (aku lupa la namanya) ada cucu nama Shakir..Time tu aku kira cun aaa..Tu kira cam 'boyfriend tak jadi' aku la time tu (umur camtu pun dah pandai ade boyfriend ish..ish..) Duduk situ kejap je, lepas tu aku duduk umah Opah (opah tu mak pada kawan mak aku la) Masa tu best duduk situ..ramai sangat membe sebab cucu opah tu semua stay situ. Kami paling suka time kutip buah Kuinin (macam pelam la tapi rasa lain sket). Pegi ngaji sesama.. Best la masa tu...sebab ade kenangan manis la jugak ( Abang Faiz mana la agaknya).

Sebenarnya aku dengan adik aku ni banyak sangat mak tumpang..Yelah banyak sangat duduk umah orang. One more kami ni membesar di sekolah ie tempat mak abah keja ( ya mak abah saya cikgu!!). Jadi banyak masa kami tak spent kat umah la..

Tapi saat paling indah bila BALIK KAMPUNG!!!!!!!
Sampai-sampai je mula-mula salam atuk..lepas tu pegi cari opah senyap-senyap dan tekejutkan dia..ape lagi orang tu melatah la...syok betul la...Itu sebelah abah la. Yang best kampung mak dengan abah ni dekat-dekat je. Kira jalan kaki abis la aiskrim 3 batang (penah try tau!!). Belah mak lak, masa tu opah dah takde, atuk belah mak ni baik sangat, pastu dianye memory very strong. Ingat nama cucu sorang-sorang. Masa ni la aku selalu kutip koko dan makan buah koko. Sedap tau buah koko tu, manis, isinya warna putih. Cuba la.. Satu lagi suka ambik kekabu...Best main sebab masa tu rasa macam main salji la konon-konon. Yang paling best main masak-masak la, tah kenapa dekat tepi tangga batu tu ade satu lubang macam lesung batu. Kami yang girls ni selalu la main masak-masak. Lepas penat main tunggu aiskrim Ah Ko lalu, dan pau atuk sorang 2 aiskrim :p Lagi satu yang kami suka buat bila ke rumah atuk belah abah; duduk atas titi, julurkan kaki kat air. Ada sekali tu adik aku try nak mancing la konon, duduk tepi parit tu, aku dengan sepupu lain kat atas
titi, tetiba dengar bunyi gedebush...dia terjatuh rupanya..panik la kejap sebab dia tak reti berenang. Tapi nasib tak salam sangat dan kakak dia ni cepat bertindak. Kalau tak teruk gak kena marah mak. Lepas dia naik bukan dia kena marah ke ape...pakat gelak ramai-ramai la..

Tapi semua tu dah takde...
Arwah atuk belah mak meninggal masa aku Form 1. Arwah atuk belah abah masa aku 2nd year amik diploma kat ITM. Arwah opah pulak baru last year meninggal.
Al-Fatihah..

Paling aku tak boleh lupa arwah opah la, sebab aku jaga dia masa sakit, kat hospital, kat umah. Tapi yang aku terkilan sebab aku tak dapat bersama dia masa saat-saat akhir dia, cuma dapat tolong sempurnakan jenazah aje. Aku sebenarnya penakut orangnya, tapi macam mana masa teman arwah opah dekat hospital aku dapat kekuatan, macam tu jugak bila aku temankan mak aku dan adik kat hospital. Entah mungkin rasa kasih mengatasi rasa takut aku kot...Tapi aku still penakut gak kekadang :p
Cuba la korang temankan orang sakit, best sebenarnya kat hospital ni..Banyak pengalaman aku dapat. Nanti lain kali aku citer.

My First Attempt Towards Blogging World

2003-09-02T18:53:00.000+08:00

At last!!
Berjaya juga online setelah pelbagai usaha dibuat. The problem is only with the phone wire(low cost!!) ye la kononnya nak murah beli aje di *****. Maybe sesetengah benda it worth membeli disana but sometimes we should PAY MORE to get MORE SATISFACTION!!

Sekarang aku rasa satisfied. Kenapa? Banyak hal yang berkaitan bila aku nyatakan rasa satisfied. Tetapi ia bukanlah untuk selama-lamanya kerana manusia ini sentiasa tidak pernah PUAS!! Bagi diri aku, apa yang aku satisfied adalah life aku sekarang. Memang banyak lagi yang aku perlu improved tetapi first thing first adalah hasrat aku untuk memiliki blog ini.

Second, sebab aku dapat penuhi hasrat my mum. My plan lepas habis diploma nak kerja then terus nak kawin (wei tak ingat blaja tul masa tu!!damn!!) ye la masa tu ade boyfriend tercinta la konon. Alhamdulillah la...doa ibu tu makbul...dan if ada permintaan ibu kita tu sebolehnya penuhilah ia. Aku terus continue degree amik Actuarial Science gak...Susah course tu tapi insya'Allah aku tau usaha, tawakkal kepada Allah serta kepercayaan family pada aku, aku dapat lakukannya.

Then, aku satisfied dengan hidup aku sekarang....ada ketenangan...walaupun aku tau kesulitan itu tak dapat dipisahkan dari hidup ini. Walaupun dugaan demi dugaan datang tapi aku tetap tenang dengan kawan-kawan yg baru dan yang telah lama aku lupakan.... Aku tau satu ketika dulu aku pernah manjadi manusia yang LUPA KAWAN!! Dan aku tak mahu itu semua berlaku. Semua itu berpunca dari diri aku sendiri.

Sebenarnya aku telah lama ingin mempunyai online jurnal (aku pun masih keliru dengan blog,jurnal..arghh..masih perlu bimbingan anda diluar sana..sila beri kritikan anda!). Aku mula terpaut dengan BLUEHIKARI-milik Rudy. Aku ikuti setiap perjalanan BLUEHIKARI. Dari situ banyak yang aku pelajari..Usah ditanya, apa kata u all usha saja BLUEHIKARI. Pendek kata itulah inspiration aku untuk membuat blog sendiri. Then jumpa dengan UNCERTAIN FUTURE-milik Poad akhirnya aku teruskan niat aku hingga hasilnya ini.

Tujuan aku hanyalah untuk share my stories ngan korang kat luar sana...
Lastly, enjoy...